Get to know a bit more about Dane Hiser as he answers one of those annoying chain mail surveys:

 WHAT IS YOUR FULL NAME - Dane Hiser, from "The Dane Hiser Experience" website.  You may have heard of me?  No?  Okay.....so.....this is awkward....

WHAT COLOUR PANTS ARE YOU WEARING? What makes you think I'm wearing any pants at all? It's okay to be turned on. You're only human.

WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO NOW? Eskimoe Joe. Oh and the voices in my head. Burn what now?

ARE YOUR LEGS CROSSED? I'm actually doing the Sharon Stone in Basic Instinct thing, swivel chair and all. The dog doesn't seem to be too impressed.

WHAT'S THE LAST THING YOU ATE? Teryaki Chicken sub at Subway. Daddy shouted!

IF YOU WERE A CRAYON, WHAT COLOUR WOULD YOU BE? Why would I want to be a crayons when Derwents clearly rule?!

HOW IS THE WEATHER RIGHT NOW? Hard to tell. The widows are all boarded up. A small candle is my only source of light. What? Those we don't speak of might get in. That's right - mormons - they're out there you know.

FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT THE OPPOSITE SEX? Boobies!!

DO YOU LIKE THE PERSON WHO SENT THIS TO YOU? Hmmm....define like?

HAIR COLOUR? No thanks. If I drink hair colouring one more time I think I'll spew.

EYE COLOUR? Blue as the ocean baby. Care for a swim?

DO YOU WEAR CONTACTS? No, my eyesight is fine thanks.  Sure, I just found out I was trying to type onto the microwave as a monitor, using a fry pan as a keyboard but I don't see a problem with my eyesight. In fact I don't see much at all!

SIBLINGS? Alexis, Lauren and "Trent the Tank" (I just decided I'm going to try out that nickname on him, I'm sure he'll like it better than the last name I had for him - "adopted".

SATURDAY OR SUNDAY? Today is Sunday! Ha ha that question was too easy! I'm on fire! Next!

ARE YOU TOO SHY TO ASK SOMEONE OUT? Yeah, but why should I worry the ladies come to me! Right, lads? Right! Oh, who am I kidding. I'm so lonely! Can I hold your hand?

DO YOU LIKE MARMITE? Now it's sounds like you're just making up words! You're not putting any real effort into this survey are you Mr Survey man?!

HUGS OR KISSES? Anything! Any physical contact!  I'm so lonely! Now, for the second time, can I please hold your hand!

LIVING ARRANGEMENTS? Alone in an empty apartment, with darkness as my only friend (no I'm not racist). God help me! I'm so lonely! Please hold my hand!

WHAT BOOKS ARE YOU READING? Where's Wally? Seriously where is the bastard?

WHAT DID YOU DO LAST NIGHT? Got kidnapped by a friend - went to movies. She beats me you know - someone please send help.

DO YOU MISS BIG BROTHER YET? I killed my big brother years ago. Not so big now, is he!? Oh you, mean the show?

WHAT INSPIRES YOU? Midgets - they're so small yet their dreams are so big!

BUTTERED, PLAIN OR SALTED POPCORN? Buttered or salted. How about you? I'll buy you some if you'll just hold my hand!